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This article, Zugdakka Treemina, is a non-canonical humour article written for entertainment purposes. It is not to be taken seriously, and does not need to follow any storyline in particular.
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This article, Zugdakka Treemina, was written by Emperors Potato, Lord of Dawi and Spuds, and WatcherInTheLore. It may be linked to any page without asking for the author's permission.




"Oi! While youz was nappin around, I was plannin! I am Zugdakka, and im da ardest boy on dis vessel! I will lead ya to DA BIGGEST NAP EVA"
—Zugdakka, taking control of the Zug Zugs during the Great Mourning

Zugdakka Treemina - Is the current Warboss of the Zug Zug clan. Before the loss of Zugga, he was known for being "Da Best Treemina." With his mighty mining pick he chopped down many a tree, and his armor is made of strongest wood. In the chaos following the death of Zugga he took power, and rallied his Boys to take revenge. He raided Strombend, taking back the armaments' of Zugga. He helped the Peons secure many bases and mine many a tree, and bravely leads his boys to find "Da Perfect Wurld." He has a higher capacity of work he can do before needing a rest compared to his fellow Peons, and is known for how much he gets done. He is also quite smart for an Ork, grasping strategy and tactics.

Zugdakka wants what's best for his boys and is willing to die to give them a better home and the best naps. Sometimes he can be annoyed by his peons not being as smart as he is, but he loves his boys, ready to pop open a fungus brew with his best peon nobs any time they ask, especially with his friend Gug. Zugdakka treats his pick with great pride and delicacy, and it is known for mining trees better then the picks of any other boys, as if it is blessed by Gork and Mork themselves.

Zugdakka's History

Before Da Rise (500.M39-506.M39) - Zugdakka was a simply boy from the dranor tribe before his rise. He mined wood with his pick and hung out with the rest of the Peons. He was one of the first supporters of Da Rebellion, and stood in the audience as Zugga slew the goff warboss and formed the Zug Zug clan. In the clans battles prior to Da Great Mornin he served as a standard line boy, fighting with Pick and shoota, but with ambitions of some day becoming more then that. And soon, he did.

Da Great Mornin (506.M39) - A year after the failed invasion of Strombend the Zug Zug's went into a state of mourning after losing their beloved boss. Many peons attempted to take over during this time but no leadership stuck as no one seemed to have been able to be as good of a boy as Zugga. Zugdakka saw this happening. He trained, mining wood for days without naps. He wanted to be the best boy, believing he had what it takes to "Be Da Best." Finally, after much infighting Zugdakka Treemina was proven to have what it takes to be the next Boy and the plans for the second invasion of Strombend was underway. Not just for wood and gold, but to avenge Zugga and reclaim his wargear.

Second Attack on Strombend (507.M39) - One of the very few offensive campaigns undertaken by the Peons. The boys were resting on a mountainous world called Blacrok. They had collected vast amounts of lumber and gold. Zugdakka Treemina, after taking a long nap, awoke. He declared he had a mighty vision from Da Great Boy himself, Zugga. He declared it was time to set their plans into motion and begin "Da Second Comin." Peons clambered onto their ship, the same Imperial vessel from before, renamed Da Starboard and set sail to Strombend, piloted by Ol One Eyed Gug, only Peon with the skills to pilot the vessel. They made landfall in the woods. After setting up rudimentary buildings of solid wood they figured out location of Zugga's last stand. The peons sent a gang of boys there on the Da Wood Rolla. They hopped off, and arrived on what was the previous battlefield. Their were no signs of corpses anywhere, and all loot had been taken. They reported this to Zugdakka. Zugdakka began to formulate a new plan but was then became under attack. The 517th Strombend Penal Peasant Legion arrived at their base, and the boys were ready for revenge. With Gug as the pilot they unleashed Da Wood Rolla on the foe. It trampled many unlucky penal guardsmen beneath its mighty crusher. Then, it dislodged its Boy crew. The peons were angry, and ready to work. They slaughtered the Peasant forces. After looting they used the parts to make a new Deff dread, with two power pick arms for tree mining. Zugdakka reasoned they must be hiding the gubbinz they took from Zugga in their fancy fortress. The Peons formed a massive battering ram and slammed it on the front of a Trukk. They charged Hive City Strombend. They broke open its gate, and sped their trucks straight through the city and its defenses, trampling barricades with Da Wood Rolla. They then fixed the battering ram on the main fortress and broke through. The Peons dispersed, voraciously searching for "Da Gubbinz da mean Umies stole." Guardsmen tried to stop them but the Peons tore through armor with the power picks. It was Gug who found the officers quarters, He broke in hungrily by shooting the door down, and was face to face with a guard Officer and Commissar. They turned to shoot him, but he was saved by Zugdakka. Zugdakka had luckily arrived behind him and blew the two guardsmen to bits. Gug eagerly rushed to the back of the room where the items they wanted were kept on display. He tossed them in a big sack, and gave it to a Peon to carry. Fighting guards on their way out, all the Peons boarded their trucks and sped off. As they sped to the forest, they tossed bombs into the city, distracting the chasing guardsmen. They rolled the vehicles onto the ship. Guards caught up as they began to pack up the camp they had formed. With the loss of some Peons, they were able to pack up all the new wood and collected it onto the ship before they sped off to return to Blakrok.

Da Defense of Blakrok (508.M39) - The peons happily chopped away at the wood all over the mountainous regions of Blakrok. Zugdakka expected Peasant retaliation, because soon the ships of a vengeful 517th Penal Peasant Legion came down on the world of Blakrok. Thankfully the Peons were prepared as they had built wood fortresses and encampments around their main base, Blakrok mountain. As the first guardsmen made landfall they were torn apart by artillery fire, fired from emplacements on the mountain. They began bombarding the gate. Gug led his Shoota boys on the ramparts to continue bombarding the guard with Autoguns and Vengeance Launchers. Then the gate burst open and Leman Russ tanks began to roll forward to enter the base. Only to be met by the face of a smiling Peon, Zogzog Da Jolly, one of the only goffs in the whole Zug Zug clan and let loose a mighty WAAAAGH! He charged, his boys behind him, including Zugga's Revenge and Da Wood rolla. The guardsmen were stunned by the hordes appearing from the gate, and the weak willed penal guardsmen in the front tried to retreat. But commissars pressed them on, saying such reassuring words as "Your armor is better then wood!" They did not know what kind of wood they were up against. Meanwhile, Gug ran excitedly through the base as he finally had a chance to activate his latest invention. A gorkanaut arrived from the gate, a gorkanaut with only one eye. This spelled the end for the guards attack. Zugdakka jumped from his Trukk and into the guards command squad, tearing them apart with the famous Oaken Snazzah. His Hittah Splintah being unnaturally resilient and powerful, guardsmen flew through the air as if Lorgar himself hit them with his power maul of old. The guard was routed and flew off with haste to return to Strombend. Though they won, Zugdakka knew this planet was no longer safe, and the humans would be back to disturb their naps. He took his men to the Starboard and flew off for a new world. Many keks were had for this victory. (Kek is the sound a Peon makes when he laughs, and thus has become a term for peon laughter.) They flew towards a new planet, known only as Elwind.

Da Flight of da Woodbird (509.M39) - After much excruciating work on the Starboard, Ol one eyed Gug completed his newest invention, the clans first Dakkajet. The Woodbird. The Peons landed on the uninhabited, stunningly beautiful world of Elwind. It had great ruins of inhuman design, and tall green mountains lush with life. Gug saw it only as a amazing test sight. He needed to test his new Dakkajet, and fast. But he had a race planned with some of the boys, and it could be incredibly dangerous. He put up a poster advertising the test run, whoever would accept would get a reward in Teef. Two orks came for him. Kekka Da Flyboy, a Flyboy picked up from a free booter gang on the way to Elwind who had inspired Gug to make the jet, and Zogzog Da Jolly. They decided to go together. On the day of Gug's race they flew, ordered to take a circle around the mountains. ZogZog and Kekka had a good time until something hit the Woodbird. They did not know, but it was of Eldar origin. It was hit again and began to go down. A shiny looking hoop on a hill in the woods was spotted by Kekka, who directed the crashing ship towards it. It was a webway gate, a gate of the vengeful Craftworld Darnusas. The crashing ship barreled into it, killing some Eldar who had just arrived. Eldar surrounded the boat ready to kill the intruding Orks. In the distance Gug saw his plane go down and raced to the mountain as fast as possible on his buggy. Zog Zog and Kekka used the ships still functioning guns to ward off the Eldar as long as they could, until Gug arrived. Gug rode into the hill, and shot as many eldar as he could as he got to his ship. Luckily, he knew just how to fix it. He fixed it up after hours of working and the three boys went home. On arrival, a few days later they found out from Zugdakka the base had been raided by "Pointy-Earz." Kekka identified these as those gits who shot his ship down. Zugdakka came up with a ingenious plan. He would march out half his boys. The Eldar would attack his remaining boys while they thought they were asleep. Then the marching boys would return! The orks thought this plan was a good one, not recognizing its obvious flaws. The next day, Gug at the head, half the wood bases garrison marched into the forests and mined many a tree. The Eldar, ever cunning, ambushed both forces. The surprised peons in the forest were ambushed and many killed, Gug desperately trying to rush them back to the base. Meanwhile the fight as the base was taking place outside, and it was a losing one. Without Gug at the base, who could operate the Gorkanaut? but then victory came in the face of a wooden bird. Kekka and ZogZog swooped down at the Eldar gathered in the opened out field around the base, the field that had been stripped of trees due to resources needed to build. The Eldar were busy victoriously slaying peon after peon to see the jet above them. A few strafing runs, and the Eldar were dead or retreated. With Da Wood Rolla in the front, the base garrison went into the woods to save Zugga. They met him and his men trying to rush to the base, Eldar behind them. The combined Dakka of the now united forces drove back those Eldar. The world belonged to the orks now! More skirmishes with Eldar did occur, but soon the Pointy Eared Fools were to afraid to leave their mountains.

Da Peasants come to Elwind (510.M39) - The peons on Elwind were having a generally good time. They expanded their territory on Elwind, and when they wanted a fight they could just climb the mountains of the valley they lived in and fight the pointy ears. The trees that remained in the surrounding area of what used to be a lush forest were used for hanging lucky Orks hammocks. But of course, humans arrived to spoil there fun. The Woodbird came back from doing its daily flight, and Kekka reported he spotted Umies fighting the Eldar gits. Strombend umies. This did not bode well for the boys. Zugdakka, with great wisdom sent over a squad of gretchin with a runtherd to keep them in check. The gretchin had a job, to spy and see what the humans were doing. The gretchin were dropped off by the Woodbird. Runtherd Chogda led them as far as he could, but a stray round blew his arms off. Boldly, a grot named Grotto led his boys to continue collecting information, dispatching a few traitorous grots with a stab from his dagger like a grot commissar. He met the Woodbird at the pick up point and told the Orks of the information. The humans were looking for them, as expected. And they were beating the Eldar. Wierdboy Snazzead consulted Zug Dakka in his hut for a hour before The Boy departed. He ordered his boys to get ready, they would beat both of their enemies at once. The Ork army hopped on trukks, or walked and arrived at the mountain. Overwhelmed with WAAAGH energy, Snazzead announced their arrival by bursting the heads of their enemies. Zugdakka let loose a might WAAAGH, and battle began. The Orks won, and thought the threat vanquished. They were wrong. The long night approached. While they slept at there fort, fort Trepik, Eldar attacked. The drowsy Ork defenders weren’t prepared, and many boys sleeping in hammocks were killed. They rallied into the burrow, and with sustained heavy fire. However, Ork guns began to win. The Eldar had a plan to blow up the burrow, but their device was shot done by Gug in the Woodbird. The Orks drove Eldar back from their wood fortress. Then humans arrived. They were less strategic and mass charged the base. They were not prepared when the garage opened and the Wood Rolla appeared and trample a path straight through them. They called for retreat as the vehicles they planned to destroy the base with were shattered. Another victory for the peons, but now humans were on their planet. And they wouldn’t leave until they won.

Zugdakka and his Squig (510.M39) - Zugdakka was wandering around the Peons woods one day when he came across a chomping noise behind a tree. He eagerly peeled it back, and found a squig happily munching away at a twig. The squig looked at him, and he looked at the Squig. They were instant friends. He picked up the twig, and placed it on his shoulder. The little squig jumped onto his shoulder and nibbled the twig. Zugdakka heard more things coming his way. Trampling through the trees were Imperial guard spies. Like he knew what to do, the Squig jumped from Zugdakka's shoulder and sneakily led him to the source of the noise, three peasants kneeling behind a large log, one with binoculars and the others with sniper rifles. With a cry of "Oi! Leave my boys alone!" Zugdakka came from behind them. He smashed one against a tree, and kicked the one with goggles over the log and crushed him. Then he turned. The last guardsmen had a rifle pointed at Zugdakka's face. As Zugdakka prepared to roar at him, the little squig jumped onto his face. The guard threw down his rifle, giving Zugdakka the chance to krump him. Zugdakka walked further into the forest to look for more peasants with his Squig. Then something terrible happened. The squig began to look suspicious and glanced around nervously. A shot rang out, coming for Zuggdakka's head. A shot was blocked by a loyal squig. Zugdakka watched in terror as his beloved Squig fell to the floor. He saw the sniper that killed him. He tore the gun out of the peasants hands and beat him to death with it. With great sorrow, he buried the Squig right there. Then he roared. Boys gathered to him. After a rousing speech, they tore through the woods to find the base of the peasants who sent the snipers. They did, and they ransacked it. Revenge made Zugdakka happy, but could not bring back his Squig.

Da Woodline Battles (511.M39) - If only the peons won all of their battles. The Peons had built a border around the current woodline. Frequent peasant and eldar attacks began to take their toll on the boys. They reinforced the forests edge with more buildings and took advantage of when the peasants and eldar fought. Until the peons enemies made a deal. One night peons retreated to the main base to party, leaving wood with paintings of orks on it so the humans would think they were still at their post. It didn't work. The clever enemies of the peons made a deal, and at night while the Peons partied attacked two sides of the Peons wood line at once. The peons were startled, unable to quickly rally to the defenses. They were forced to man the bases guns when Imperial guard ships arrived to bombard its walls of solid wood. Gug and Zugdakka rode out to the borders the peasants were attacking to defend as best they could. It was to late. Peasants had broken the peons defensive towers. It was all they could do to hold the new line before the peasants retreated, now taking control of the wood line. Eldar met even less resistance and did the same. The peons were trapped between two armies, with no easy way to gather wood. The orks who had the biggest brains gathered to think of a solution.

  • Da Barrens (512.M39) - Sadly, it appeared to Zugdakka his reign over Elwind was ending. His boys were getting beaten back by peasants and eldar. And though he was wise, he could not think of a way to victory. He ordered his boys to pack everything up into the Starboard and board it, getting on fast enough that their enemies were to busy fighting each other to notice. The Peons blasted off to find a new home. And they found one. A red desert world, known only as The Barrens. Had some Imperial and Xenos towns scattered about it, and plenty of barrens wood. They landed in a relatively uninhabited area near an ocean, where they met their new allies. While Gug was wondering about he met a hunched, yet tall lanky blue creature with Tusks. It introduced itself with a distinctive accent as a "Troll." Gug traded some machinery with the Troll for some wood, and returned to his boys wooden base. They went to find the base of the trolls. Pinkspear isle. As it turned out the trolls on this tropical isle where the planets xenos natives, and had vast stores of powerful Island wood. However, monsters from the depths of the water called Naga raided them. Zugdakka made a deal to help keep the Naga away. Together they met a army of trolls led by Witchdocter Malaki, and drove off the Naga from a recent invasion. They admired how each other fought, and the trolls admired the Orks technology. Trolls were still tribal, with primitive warp magic they deemed Da Voodoo. Together, they would build a good home. But the Peasants realized they left, as did the Eldar. They would be coming for the Zug Zugs new home.
  • Da Tech Timez (513.M39) - In a effort led by Gug the Zug Zug clan tried to share the wisdom of Zug Zug tech with the trolls. They were astounded to see that wood simply wasn't hitty when the troll used it. Witchdocter Malaki did his best to teach the voodoo, but it just wouldn't work for a Ork. Zugdakka and Gug, along with Chief Ji'Im and Malaki had a meeting to discuss this. Some inventions the trolls could use, but they just couldn't create hitty wood that the trolls could use. It simply became less hitty in troll hands. They came to a genius conclusion. The trolls weren't strong enough to hit with enough power. So Malaki had a genius idea. He could brew a potion to turn the trolls into buff, super trolls so they could make wood hitty. Gug agreed with fervor, and then Malaki introduced the problem. He needed a certain ingredient. A naga sea crystal, used to empower those fishy beasts. Together, they decided they would invade the Naga underwater temple. Sadly it was determined the trolls could not breath underwater. But the Zug Zug clan could. As could Malaki with special voodoo. So Malaki, Gug, and Zugdakka dove into the ocean to invade the Naga temple along with a squad of boys. It went well. The naga were unprepared. And then they saw the temple, made of obsidian black, a alter on its top with the pearl. Malaki rushed up the steps and grabbed it...and then the temple began to shake. It was a underwater Necron ruin. They swam away as fast as possible. But when they arrived back to the base at shore, necrons began stepping out of the water and invading the troll village. Malaki brewed as much of his super strength potion as he could, and powered up a few trolls to help take out the Necrons. After a day of full scale war, they pushed back the necrons. For now. But they would be back, and thus began the Necron Wars of the Zug Zug clan.

WAAAGH Gear

  • Da Oaken Snazzah - Zugga's modified snazzgun he received from the Bad Moons as a gift. The snazzgun was a broken bolter jurry rigged to shoot powerful tesla bolts and was powered by a battery pack. It was lost during the invasion of Strombrend when Zugga fell in battle. Only to be recovered in the second attack on Strombend, and carried off to the ship to be kept by the Peons. Da Oaken Snazzah is now in the capable hands of the new warboss, Zugdakka Treemina Da Boy. Zugdakka loves this weapon. He uses it in concert with his famous pick, and loves "Da Sounds it makes when it hits da bad boys."
  • Zugdakka's Pick - A mining pick made by Zugdakka himself. A razor sharp front and top made out of the best mahogany wood metal makes it the best mining pick there is in the Peon forces. It can completely topple a tree in three swings! One of the reasons Zugdakka grew so famous, Zugdakka has bore it since his days as a simple boy, And says its sharpness is a courtesy of Gork and Mork. Whatever it is, it is certainly a example of very high quality weapon smithing. For a Ork.

Personality

Zugdakka is a good example of what a Zug Zug boy should be. A good fighter, a better wood chopper, and with a healthy love of naps. While he has the same urge to nap as any Zug Zug boy he is more ready to work, and was gifted with a greater mind then many of his peers. Able to gleam the occasional good strategy from his green head, he is able to strategize at better capacities then a standard Ork. He is able to harness a ambition into reality, like his rise in Da Mourning. His love of fighting to is stronger then a average Zug Zug, loving the crunch of his pick against a unlucky peasant or eldar head. He is a jolly boy, and loves hanging out with his crew, even if sometimes their lack of intelligence in comparison to his gets him annoyed.

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