Dazgud Toofrippa's Kollij ov Orkinomikz

Dazgud Toofrippa's Kollij ov Orkinomikz is an Ork tribe led by the Warboss Dazgud Toofrippa. Dazgud himself is known as something of a mathematical genius among Orks, and regularly uses his financial and diplomatic acumen to amass massive WAAAGH!s and sell their services to the highest bidder, no matter who or what that bidder may be. From Inquisitors to Chaos Lords, Phaerons to Shas'os, Autarchs to Archons--Dazgud will accept work from anyone, as long as they can meet his (often outrageous) prices.

Hizturee
No one is quite sure how Dazgud Toofrippa first rose to power, or how he became so intelligent. Multiple stories of his origins exist, each less probably than the last.

Some say that he was hauled off to Commorragh by the Drukhari, and that the Haemonculi experimented with his brain before unleashing him upon the galaxy for a good laugh. Others whisper that he may be the first of a new generation of the mythical Brainboyz. Others still claim that his brain was replaced with that of an Imperial Commissar, though they are most likely confusing him with Warboss Mansa of Da Emrald Elite. Even the Aeldari whisper that he may be member of the long lost Krork, the precursors to the Orks created by the Old Ones who helped fight off the Necrons during the War in Heaven.

Among the Ordo Xenos, the current most accepted theory is that the power of the WAAAGH! itself may have increased his intelligence. At some point Dazgud must have performed some particularly cunning feat, with word of his intelligence spreading throughout his tribe. The more his fellow Orkz believed him to be particularly smart, the more true it became through the sheer power of that belief.

Sadly, it is currently impossible to tell which of these possibilities, if any, are true.

WAAAGH!s

 * The Laeran-Azuran War (130.M42) - While Dazgud's forces participated in this conflict, they ended up switching sides multiple times. They were initially brought in by offshoots of the Knights of Laeran, but held no true loyalty to them as it was obvious they were just being used as cannon fodder. Some of the more ruthless nobles of the Azuran Sector were able to take advantage of this and convince Dazgud's forces to concentrate their attacks on their political rivals, while Farseer Aradrel of Craftworld Nacretineï was able to occasionally convince them to manipulate their so-called "allies" into situations advantageous to the Ordinators. By the end of the conflict, however, Dazgud was finally able to strike a deal directly with Prince Gaius, and was once again supporting the forces of Chaos by the end of the war.

Orgineyezashun
For the most part, the Kollij ov Orkinomikz ends up working out pretty similarly to most other Ork tribes, where rank is determined by how big and strong an Ork is, with specialized roles filled by Oddboyz. Where they differ, however, is in their recruitment. While in some cases Dazgud and his followers will use traditional Ork methods of bullying and conquering their way into building their numbers, this is generally only done when another Ork force attempts to do these things to them first.

Instead, Dazgud will begin by holding "seminarz" that offer to teach Orks how to get rich. Eventually he will pick a few "stoodentz" that seem promising and convince them to accept a "bizniss oppertunity". They give him a small portion of their loot, then recruit others who will give him a portion of their loot, who will then recruit others themselves, etc. The more they recruit, the more loot they get, especially when their own recruits begin recruiting as well.

By organizing his tribe, which he calls a "class," into a pyramid scheme structure like this, Dazgud is able to not only gather an extremely large number of forces in a short amount of time, but also manipulate his followers into maintaining a relatively high degree of cohesion, at least by Ork standards. This structure ensures that Nobz aren't the only Orkz with an incentive to keep their comrades from fleeing--the Boyz will also go out of their way to keep any others that they've recruited in the fight as well.

Of course, this only lasts as long as those stuck in the scheme don't see through it. While it's exceedingly rare for the rank and file Boyz to do so, other Warbosses who've been conned by Dazgud might be smart enough to figure it out. If Dazgud can't stamp these voices of reason out before word spreads far enough, the entire structure of the tribe will collapse, forcing Dazgud to resort to typical Ork bullying to keep enough forces in line to kill the rebels. He'll then lead his remaining forces into some sort of suicidal situation while he himself slips away, ensuring that none live to reveal his con to the next batch of Orks when he starts again.

Kultur
While Dazgud himself is a Blood Axe, he is more than willing to adapt based on the types of Orks he is working with at any given time. Given his unconventional recruitment style and practices, Dazgud generally has the most luck when working with fellow Blood Axes, Bad Moons, or Freebootaz. Goffs typically lack the patience to listen to his "lessunz", while Snakebites are often too resistant to new ideas to be worth the trouble.

Taktikz
The Kollij's tactics will vary greatly based on what kind of stoodentz they can gather, with Dazgud able to adapt based on what he has to work with. For example, he will use relatively advanced tactics and stealth when working with Blood Axes, while keeping things simple and straightforward if all he has to work with are Goffs. However, the one thing he will almost always insist on is armoring up his Boyz into 'Ardboyz as much as possible. Dazgud cares little for the lives of those who work for him, but believes the money it costs him to buy them armor is well worth the investment in how durable in makes their forces, as there are relatively few weapons that can both deal with vast hordes of enemies and penetrate heavy armor at the same time.

Matez

 * Knights of Laeran

Gitz

 * (none yet)

By da Kollij ov Orkinomikz
Feel free to add your own "If yous stab a grot wif an Ork toof, an' ye bash anuder grot wif a bag ov a hundred umie teef, da grotz are equally ded. Dat meanz 100 umie teef er equal ta 1 Ork toof. Eldar an' Tau er even wimpier den 'umiez, doh, so 10 a der teef iz wurf one umie toof."

- Dazgud Toofrippa, Lessun 1

"If all uv us invests in armur, wez gotz a betta shot at krumpin gitz wiffout dem krumpin back. Anyting dat keepz ya krumpin' iz gud orkonomikz."

- Dazgud Toofrippa, Lessun 5

"Dem 'Quisitur gitz er da best kustomerz. If a charge 'em an entire plannet'z wurf of teef, dey moight akshully pay it!"

- Dazgud Toofrippa, Lessun 9

"Don' krump someone dat hirez ya right away no matter how much of a git dey are, cuz dey might hire ya again, and ya get moar teef dat way. Wait 'til some uddah git payz ya to. Or until dey triez ta turn on ya. Or ya tink der gonna turn on ya. Or dey got sumfin flash ya wantz. Or dey lookz at ya funny."

- Dazgud Toofrippa, Lessun 16

"Derz a neat trick when talkin' ta 'umiez. If ya seez 'em aktin fishy, jus' give 'em a salute an' say "Hydra Dominatus." Ye wouldn' buleev how much some of 'em will pay yaz if ya do! Itz a trick I saw a spikey boy do once, an' I don' know why it workz, but itz werf tryin'!"

- Dazgud Toofrippa, Lessun 20

"When yer stuffin' yer boyz inna rok to land on a flash new planet ta krump, make sure yeh fill up ALL da space inside. Dis iz called the principle of 'effishunsy'. It means wot like you get more krumpin' fer da teef ya spent on da rok. If dey land, dey'll get ta unloadin' much more uf der dakka. If dey crash and die, you don't have to pay dat many more boyz fer fightin'!"

- Dazgud Toofrippa, Lessun 26

"When a git hires ya and it looks like ‘e won’t agin, ya gotta find out where he keeps his teef or fings that can be trades fer teef and loot ‘em real sneaky and kunnin’ like. Also tell him yeh 'inkurred axepensez' fer tings ya didnt do since ‘e ain’t gonna hire ya anymore anyway. Dis iz called 'ambazulment.' Da mos' importin ting ta take, doh, iz info. Lern woteva ye can 'bout da git. Den youz can sell it tah someone dat hatez 'im--and lez face it, every git like dis 'as enemiez--and maybe even get one'a dem enemiez to hirez ya to krump 'em!"

- Dazgud Toofrippa, Lessun 37

About da Kollij ov Orkinomikz
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