User blog:Algrim Whitefang/WH40K Commandments (Humour)

Here we have some old school WH40K humour I found in some dark corner of the 'interwebs' long ago on a now defunct-40K blog Hope you guys get a good laugh:

==Warhammer 40K Commandments==
 * 1) Thou shalt not refer to the Adepta Soritas as "Bolter Bitches."
 * 2) Orks are not "cute."
 * 3) Thou shalt not make jokes about the Imperial Guard's weapons.
 * 4) Thou shalt not replace the Librarian's staff with a magic wand.
 * 5) Thou shalt not tip the Terminators over during battle.
 * 6) Thou shalt not do Spock impersonations around Eldar.
 * 7) C-3P0 is not a Necron ambassador.
 * 8) Thou shalt not pay someone an Imperial to eat that Squig.
 * No, you cannot "Take the Titan for a spin."
 * 1) Thou shalt not use thy multi-meltas to light campfires. (in a similar manner, thou shalt not use the Terminator Captain's chainfist to open tins of baked beans)
 * 2) Thou shalt not bribe the Inquisitor to bring down Exterminatus on your ex-wife.
 * 3) Thou shalt not refer to the Rhino transports as "pimp wagons," nor shalt thou use the phrase, "If the Rhino be rockin, don't come a knockin."
 * 4) The Chapter Master is not a "drag."
 * 5) Thou shall not use Power Swords to cut your food.
 * 6) Thou shall not ask a Sister if you might, "Donate some of your own Gene-Seed."
 * 7) Thou shall not throw soap at nurglings.
 * 8) Thou shalt not put a "kick me" sign on the Golden Throne.
 * 9) Thou shalt not refer to the Machine Spirit as "Cruise Control".
 * 10) Thou shalt not stick a 'Honk if you think I'm sexy' sticker on the Sisters' Rhino.
 * 11) Thou shalt not honk if thou sees a sticker saying 'Honk if you think I'm sexy' on a Sister's Rhino.
 * 12) Thou shalt not unplug the Golden Throne just "for laughs".
 * 13) Thou shalt not make the Emperor read your palms, or call upon him as "Miss Cleo".